No, not Bi-Rite. I know that we all just love standing in line for over an hour at Bi-Rite Creamery on a Sunday afternoon. Yeah, so there’s been a few Mark Zuckerberg sightings in that line. Big deal. OK, I’ll admit that I squealed like a little pig when I spotted him walking down Dolores Street for the first time. Anyhow, I know the routine. I’m not denying the fact that sitting in Dolores Park with scoops of salted caramel, honey lavender, and balsamic strawberry ice cream from Bi-Rite just puts a cherry on top of your pretty little weekend, but you really need to get your butt over to Humphry Slocombe and try their Secret Breakfast (one scoop for $3.50 and two scoops for $4.25, or if you’re extra greedy 3 scoops for $5). It’s only the most addictive ice cream flavor in the world!
Bourbon and corn flakes are the two ingredients that go into this delicious blend. My only bone to pick is that they should definitely add more cornflakes to the mix. The crunchier the better! I’m not usually a proponent of mixing dairy with alcohol, especially for those afflicted with a mild case of lactose intolerance and Asian glow like me. Their red wine ice cream called Jesus Juice sounds as questionable as rapture believers, but one lick of Secret Breakfast and you will shed all your doubts. Now…where’s the sangria ice cream?
“But it’s so farrrrrr awayyyyy!” you cry.
Do I need to call the wah-bulance? Use your legs! Walk! Get on that pastel yellow cruiser you bought at Public Bikes that you named Holly and pedal your tush over there! Muni! Or god-forbid, drive and practice your parallel parking skills in the Mission! Enjoy the balmy 80 degree weather while it lasts because I’ll give the weather gods another 2 weeks before they start telling the fog to roll into SF again. It’s that good and totally worth the trek! OK, promise I’m done yelling.
Oh, and while you’re at it, ask the guys behind the counter to give you a sample of the prosciutto ice cream. I’m not quite sure what my friend Jen expected me to say when she asked me, “So what does it taste like?” I mean it literally tastes like ham. The anti-climatic nature of my answer and the pure silliness of it all made me giggle a little bit. I heard they sometimes sell bacon ice cream over there too. Do it.